Coffee Junkie

I admit it, I am one. I remember that when I was staying in the Halls in Uni, I had this kettle next to my desk where I can brew my instant coffee in less than a minute. I had at least 7 cups a day....talk about junkie huh.

Of all the coffee's that i've tried, I like the kopi tiam kind. Especially the ones with the condensed milk unstirred...resting at the bottom of the cup. Fortunate for me, the pantry auntie prepares such coffee! There is a can of condense milk on the table where you can help yourself to.

There lies the problem, the can opening varies day to day, the size of the opening depends on the auntie, sometimes it bigger, sometimes smaller. I have some difficulty in judging how much to pour into my cup. So on somedays the coffee is sweet, on others a tad bitter. Reminds me of life...sometimes its a good day, soemtimes its not. Coffee was perfect today, not too sweet, not too bitter. Wonder how my day would be...

Worry wart

I can only imagine that one of the greatest feelings that a man can experience is that of "fatherhood" a change in his responsibilities and perhaps his perspective of life etc. To see a father gently carrying his babe, caring, protecting. They say that having a child usually mellows a person much. I look forward to that experience.

Recently heard someone share about having children and learning how to bring them up. It was mention that some of us will never have physical children but he emphasized that we should have spiritual children. I must testify that there is much truth in it. The experience is in a way out of this world. There is joy, disappointments and at the sametime the happiness when you see that your charges are doing well. There are also of course heartaches and times of mourning. But at the end of the day, like any experience, it makes us stronger. Strong because we learn from our expereince and of course that constant reminder that we too have a heavenly Father looking out for us, and the reminder too of how we should behave.

I worry for my charges all the time. They might not know about it, but I do. Someone mentioned that it makes them feel like kids. My reply - you don't only worry for kids. You worry for people that matter and care for.

As I look back on this eventful year, the joy, the pain, the tears the disappointments, the victories, I cannot help but smile. Why you might ask, because I've survived it, but most importantly I'm a better, stronger person. Thank you for all that you have done for me, my Father, and everyone that has played a part in my life. I appreciate all of you. Next year I want to try doing the Standard Chartered Marathon.

Goodbye 05 Hello 06

Yeap, its that time of the year. The Christmas air is in the wind, followed by the New year that is just around the corner, 32 days to be exact. Apparently, it was reported that a lot of people commit suicide over the holidays. Its that time when you start to feel depressed and stuff. I'm really not much of a holiday mood kinda person and guess it can get a little depressing because everybody is about busy perparing for the holidays and here you are sitting alone, thinking what you are going to do.

Well this year's different. Well, not so different after all. Am not planning anything extra-ordinary or planning to go for some happening party, but rather looking back the year, this year has just been really good. There have been ups and downs but most importantly, think I've grown up so much more in my thinking. I am thankful for all that I have expereienced this year. The good, the not so good, the bad, all of it.

Was looking through some photos that "Timothy" took together. Some of them were just pure silly, some of them funny, but it reminded me of all the times that we spent together, thank you for being a part of my life. It would be so different without you guys. Looking forward to the new year with you guys. Feeling a warm feeling in my heart...And all of this was possible because of the One who first loved us, our Lord Jesus Christ.

If first impressions count

He walks in to the room, looking confident, well groomed. If first impressions were to count as anything, you'll think - "This guy has it all made out for him"

im·pres·sion
n.

1. An effect, feeling, or image retained as a consequence of experience.
2. A vague notion, remembrance, or belief: I have the impression that we have met once before.
3. A mark produced on a surface by pressure.
4. The act or process of impressing.

Its only when he shared his life, his story that everything became clearer. Dyslexia is one of them, broken family, and a myrid of other unseen issues. He shared because he was looking for something - acceptance.

It easy to look at someone and form some kind of impression. But often that is only skin-deep, surely our lives go deeper than the superficial epidermis. I think sometime, we only see what we want to see. We choose to look at the world and people with our own polarizing glasses. We filter out what we want to see and what we don't want to see.

This is dedicated to K who was so inspiring in sharing his life story. My heart goes out to you, but at the same time, I salute you because of the strength you have displayed. You have encouraged me and inspired me. Counting my blessings.

Friends that matter

Man is not a solitary creature but a social one. He needs to interact not only with his environment but with others of his kind. One of the things that really amazes me is how a baby, when borned, is incapable of communication of any sorts except to cry, can grow up and articulate and communicate how he/she feels. And the other person can understand despite being 2 totally different individuals with different experiences in life. Whenever I think of that, it leaves me speechless and dumbfounded in amazement.

friend
n.

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.


Friends are one of the important things in life. Why? Because its really through the interactions with your friends that really form your thought patterns on a myrid of issues. I rememeber one particular friend that told me off because I was insensitive and did not think beyond myself. There was another who challanged me to think what I wanted in life and yet another that taught me that there was a world beyond the shores of Singapore. I thank God for such people. Many people will pass your way, but not many of them will leave a mark on your life some will leave you in despair, some will inspire you, some will make you a better person. Are you a friend that makes a difference? - friends that matter.

New Beginnings

It funny how to have to go through something totally new so near the end of the year. Its day 3 of the new "wake up at 7am" regime. I must say it takes a little bit more discipline to sleep earlier so that I'm not "grumpy" in the morning. I'm not a morning person, usually takes me a couple of hours to warm up to face the new day haha.

grump·y
adj. grump·i·er, grump·i·est

Surly and peevish; cranky.

grumpi·ly adv.
grumpi·ness n.


Its all about timing. Sometimes I wonder how much of things am I missing out when I just focused on my own life, the missed opportunities, the chance meetings etc. My new regime saw me in the lift at 7.20am.

On the 13th floor, a father came in with his son. Probably sending the son to school. The son was fiddling with his wallet, he was trying to attach some cord to his wallet. Its one of those cords that is conencted to the wallet at one end and at the other end to the person. This is to prevent the wallet from being lost if it accidentally drops out of the pocket. I never had one of those. I never lost my wallet also (hope not speaking too soon). Guess there are more things in life to worry about?

Being a student was pretty much a carefree life for me. I took things real easy (maybe a bit too easy...look at me now). I wonder what kinds of stuff a kid has to deal with today. I think i might not survive....life was so much simpler then...

Bend it.....

Today was one of the earliest days that I woke up ever since I got a car. Guess I've been leading a pretty blessed life. Got up at 7am. The reason? - LTA decided that the ECP was to congested and has increased the price of ERP to $2... When i started driving to work it was 50 cents! Anyway, I beat the ERP and I'm pretty happy cos I saved $1.50. Guess thats the price of 30 minutes of sleep.

Waxed my car over the weekend, so she's shining like a beauty again. Apologies for having neglected you baby. Guess I've been caught up with other things in my life... really need to re-focus.

Someone said something yesterday that really helped me change my thinking (that doesn't happen often). We usually think of rules as a prohibition of sorts. Like a parent telling a kid what he can or cannot do. We think of it as restrictive, something to hinder us from doing what we want. Boundaries are defined, perhaps too defined. Guess I like blurred lines. But these boundaries allow us to function within an acceptable limit.

An example was given. Cos the lines are drawn and rules made clear, we can function within those boundaries. For example, when 2 people interact, we agree (sub-consciously) to abide by certain rules, rules of being civilized, of being honest and resepcting each others space. It is because of the rules that we understand that we can intereact at that level. If there were no rules, I wonder how many of us will be willing to interact with anyone... Cheem? Go think about it.

Unfortunatley, there are some people who don't abide by such rules. Not sure if they do it on purpose or are clueless about the existence of such rules. Whatever the case, I find it most tiresome and exhausting in such cases. I need a holiday...

Can't pay the fine, don't do the crime

The holidays have come to an end and though the weekend is around the corner, Friday is unfortunately a working day. The hols have been pretty good with much relaxing and chilling out with friends. Went to the zoo yesterday and was reminded of how great and amazing creation is.

Bad news however is that come Monday, the ERP gantry along ECP will start charging $2! Not so long ago, I remembered paying $0.50 only! Now have to wake up even earlier to get to work ~ sigh. Its a dog's life.

On my way to work today, was tuned in to the "Morning Show" by F.D. and Glen Ong and today's topic was apparently over some issue where a traffic warden was using vulgar language over some people who had made some sort of traffic offense. The discussion progressed to a point where it basically became a blame game etc. But one lady, interestly, spoke up for the traffic wardens and said that its not an easy job. Its stressful and while it should not be condoned, we should be sympathetic towards them. To have people challanging your authority when you are working etc, especially when they are in the wrong.

I read recently on a car forum of how some guy, who was obviously wrong, had an incident with a traffic warden and he recounted how he argued with her etc. While she did make some "silly" comments, the fact does not change he was in the wrong.

Its funny how, people can afford to buy a car, pay the expensive premiums for the car insurance, pay the ludicriously high ERP and parking both at home and in office, and not to mention the ever rising fuel prices, would choose to CHEAT on a mere $0.50 by parking illegally. Not to mention to try to wriggle out of it when you get caught. What is the world coming. If you can't pay the parking then I suggest you don't drive - as simple as that. Embarassed to be a driver.

Gracious Sillyporeans

The usual - got into the lift, going down. Lifts stops on the 5th floor. A domestic helper enters the lift lugging 2 big pails. She's probably going down to wash her employer's car. I reach my car and enter it, crank the ignition and drive off. The radio is on and tuned to Class 95 (my usual station, think it kinda reflects my era). In the background, I hear some report of how kind Singaporeans are in donating a lot of money to a local charity. The fund-raiser was an apparent succsess.

As we can all remember the recent debacale that was going on with NKF, with the foundation being accused of mis-managing its funds blah blah blah, Singaporeans are still being gracious in giving money to the needy. The radio ad went on further to praise Singaporeans for their generosity etc.

Images wheeling back in time in my mind. Its a Sunday, I'm in church walking to the coffeeshop for my usual morning breakfast. Its raining and the sky was fast becoming dark, I hurrry along. Along my way, I see a car parked at a public parking lot. There is a domestic helper (I think its rude to call them maids) washing her employer's car in the rain. And you know what? The cheapo employer, has a landed property. Instead of parking on his/her own property, parks and hogs a public lot just outside their house. My mind reels back to this morning, seeing a domestic helper going down to clean the car....Bet the employer never washed their car early in the morning and they see fit to see soemone who is in their employ to do what they will never do. Power of the dollar.

Gracious? Charity begins at home. No wonder we are called Sillyporeans.

Reminiscing the past

He reaches over to stop the alarm ringing. Lingering in bed, he tells himself, "Five more minutes". But tiredness gets the better of him. After all, this morning's lectures is one of those boring ones. The one where you try really hard to decipher what the lecturer from China is try to say...dy/dx, triple intergrals etc. His lingering ends up taking 3 additional hours.

He figures its time to get out of bed. There is a tutorial that he needs to attend today. There will be a quiz that will be 20% of his final exams. Dragging himself to the shower where he again lingers for a while, he gets dressed, gets out of the door, music accompanying him on his journey that would take 1.5 hours. Bus, MRT, bus. The life of a student.

Reminiscing the past...

Turning back time

Shows like "Back to the Future" and H.G Well's "Time Machine" try to answer the proverbial question of "What would you do different if you had a second chance to do it all over again?" Some people live in regret of what they have done, while other, bite the bamboo and move on, living with their mistakes. One wonders, who makes a better person at the end of the day...

On a different note, caught the movie "Goal", it was a British production which featured a couple of celebrity football players. The jist of the movie revolves around a young aspiring Mexican, Santiago Munez, who despite family situations and objections, realises his dream of playing professional football in a Premier League club. An inspirational movie.

At the heart of the movie (my opinion) is the courage to dare to dream, to pursue what your heart desires. We will always find ourselves in situations where we have to make decisions, sometime we are called to sacrifice, sometimes we are afraid, sometimes we hide behind something and make excuses for ourselves. I wonder, have I lived my life to its fullest or have I missed out on somethings because I have compromised on certain things. All in all, I don't want to look back in regret, but to look forward. To live the remaning years of my life to its fullest.

The eye of the storm

They say that the place that is the calmest is in the center of a storm. The winds around you churn as a tornado/hurricane/twister unleashes their destructive powers. There was a show called "Twister" which featured a group of storm chasers, running after twisters hoping to be able to study them, to analayze them, to figure out how mother nature works. It was an exhilarating movie, plenty of action. At one point of time, wanted to be a storm chaser cause it looked so cool!

On Friday, as I was making my way home on the ECP, it was the usual crowd. Many cars rushing home for the weekend. I had passed the Benjamin Shear's bridge and wanted to exit at Fort road. I was on the 1st lane and started to filter to the side, the exit was 3 lanes away. When I reached the 2nd lane, I heard a loud crack. I was stunned for a moment. Many seconds later, I realised I could not engage any gears. My gear shifter broke...

As I could not engage my gears, my car was stuck in dead waters, I slowed it to a stop, turned my hazzard light on and pulled my hand brake. Sigh. As I tried to call for towing service, the many cars rushing to go home began to divert, zipping and filtering. It felt as if I was in the eye of a storm. As I looked forward, I see clear roads, but at the sides, the churning of power... cars zipping by dangerously, impatiently, in their hearts probably cursing the breakdown car for blocking their path. I sat patiently in the car, awaiting my rescuers, trying not to get swept away...

Seasons change

You know how many countries have the different seasons. In Singapore we pretty much have 2 seasons, the dry, hot and the rainy season. And I think we are starting to enter the monsoon season. Been raining for the past couple of nights. Days look gloomy too with the overcast skies. Even as I write this, the sky is dark and there are looming clouds just waiting to release their precipitation.

Some countries have the 4 different seasons: spring, summer, autumn and winter. An I feel as if we are entering into winter. Coming to the end of 2005. The end of the year is always a busy period for me. Too many things to do and too little time. Feeling a little overwhelmed and suffocated at the moment. Just waiting for this season to pass. Spring is around the corner and I'm looking forward to it.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3)

Zipping on Highway 30

How time flies! It was not so long ago that we were all fearful that the milenia bug will hit the coputeres on which we are so dependant on. Some postulated that the world would come to an end and that during that period, we should stay home with our families. Looking back, its easy to laugh. But living that moment - uncertainty.

I don't know about you guys but somehow, I see the analogy of my life in relation to my drive to work. Life on the fast track, zipping by. Getting from where we are to where we need to be. Facing stops, road blocks, heavy traffic, inconsiderate drivers, vechicles that belong to the leftmost lane trying to get the to right most lane. Cars which are hoggers, while others are dangerous.

I wonder what kind of driver I am, what kind of person I am in life...

Cogito ergo sum - I think therefore I am

René Descartes once said that. I'm no philosophy student but guess it makes sense to me. A friend once asked, "Is marriage an investment?" and that got me pretty much thinking. It's an interesting question, but I guess at the root of it all, it really depends on the perspective that one has. What is an investment?

in·vest·ment
n.

1. The act of investing.
2. An amount invested.
3. Property or another possession acquired for future financial return or benefit.
4. A commitment, as of time or support.
5. A military siege.
6. Archaic.
1. A garment; a vestment.
2. An outer covering or layer.

In its context, marriage can be an investment. You get a wife, you have children, you build a family. Looking towards the day when you retire and your children are old enough to look after you. You have a partner, someone to keep you company in good times and bad times. But the question I have is what is the ROI? What is to prevent your wife from looking for a better investment or for your children to look for another investment? I think - (therefore I am) that our thought patterns are important in shpaing not only ourselves but invariably, it will shape the people around us.

If marriage is an investment then alot of decisons will be made because of the investment slant given to it. Someone once told me that a child's behaviour towards things are learned behaviour and not taught. I jest, but the point I'm trying to make is that at the end of the day, the way you want to see things gives you power in that way.

I particularly liked the last definition of investment -- A garment; a vestment. Why? because, a marriage is putting on the garment of love. To choose to love someone despite of all the shortcomings that person had. And it speaks also of the love that Chirst had for his bride, to the point that He died for her. Amazing love!

Words that heal, words that kill

Was treated to a facinated revelation yesterday. A couple of us went to watch The U.K. Magnets, a capella group comprising of 6 British guys in suits. Their rendition of popular covers were fantastic as the crowd cheered and cheered them on. I must admit that it was a very enjoyable experience.

It was amazing to see the kind of sounds the human voice can produce. Especially the percussionist. He was pretty amazing and guess he's the backbone of the group. Not to mention that he seems to work the hardest. Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought that the human voice can produce such sounds!

a cap·pel·la
adv. Music

Without instrumental accompaniment.


[Italian : a, in the manner of + cappella, chapel, choir.]

The human voice is just amazing. The sounds that it can make, the unique voices that define a person. The words that it can make, think of all the languages that you can converse in. The words that are spoken forth are also power. There are words that can bring healing to another person's life, there are words that can end another's life. Words that can bring war and destruction, and also words that can bring world peace (Sandra Bullock spoke these words in Miss Congeniality)

James once said that "... the tongue is a fire. The tongue is an unrighteous world among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the cycle of nature, and set on fire by hell". How true this is. The power of our words. Do we realise it?

Life is a roller coaster

Realised that the traffic on the road to work on the ECP seems to have lessen quite substantially. Usually it gets pretty jammed up at Fort road as you head towards the AYE. But the past 2 day, traffic has been pretty smooth, how do I know? For one, I find myself braking less than normal.

"Change" has been a word that has stuck in my mind the past week. Have been doing alot of soul-searching and reflecting about my current situation, my job my relationships etc. If funny, but met up with a friend yesterday and he was going through exactly the same thing. Guess being married and with kids doesn't make that kind of feeling go away. We all have to deal with that emotions. If life was a roller coaster, then I probably would be a one of the lower ends of the ride, just coming out of a high. There are things that I look forward to and the anticipation of that climax of it (the top) and then guess to get ready for another low or a round-about.

Thats it about a roller coaster ride I guess, the lows, the highs, the anticipations, the fast loops. At the end of the day, its just a ride, just gonna ride it out. Where are you in the bluprint of your roller coaster ride?

We found love, oh
So don't fight it
Life is a rollercoaster
Just gotta ride it
I need you, ooh
So stop hiding
Our love is a mystery
Girl, let's get inside it (Ronan Keating)

Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous

We are back. Timothy had a great time over at Malacca. Road trip was real fun with all that people and all that eating. *although we did not beat the previous group in terms of amount eaten, we nevertheless had loads of fun, especially in the pool!*

We were really treated well to a lovely mansion in which we lived in. Had everything that we needed and even more! Included - pool table, TV in every room, X-box for the boys, jaccuzi, swimming pool and even a pool house! Anyhow, it was a good time of rest and relax, and we really enjoyed ourselves.

The trip back was a pretty quick one, with the roads packed with sillyporeans rushing home. Why silly you might ask? Well, I figured that with the nice holiday that we just had, rushing back to our mundane life would seem silly, but it seems that most Singaporeans can't wait to rush home. How do I know? We'll you should see how some Singaporeans drive. Think they not only cannot wait to get home, they might be rushing to hell....go figure. Thanks to everybody, especially Tingni, who made this trip possible. It would have been different without you!

Lifestyles of the rich and the famous
They're always complainin'
Always complainin'
If money is such a problem
Well they got mansions
Think we should rob them
Good Charlotte

The Things You Didn't Do

It's mostly the things we do that make a difference to other people's lives. But sometimes, it's the things we don't do that truly make a difference the rage we don't fly into when someone does something wrong, the arrogance we don't develop even though we are mostly right, the violence we don't inflict when our tempers flare up, the punishment we don't mete out when someone lets us down.

When someone truly loves us, they will be able to forgive our flaws and mistakes with grace. What's unfortunate though, is that most of us tend to remember people for the things they've done, but forget about the things that they could've done, but chose not to.

A woman once wrote a letter to her husband.

Remember the day I borrowed your brand new car and I dented it?
I thought you'd kill me but you didn't.

And remember the time I dragged you to the beach and you said it would rain and it did? I thought you'd say, "I told you so", but you didn't.

Do you remember the time I flirted with all the guys to make you jealous and you were.I thought you'd leave me, but you didn't.

Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry pie all over your car rug. I thought you'd hit me but you didn't.

And remember the time I forgot to tell you the dance was formal and you showed up in jeans? I thought you'd drop me. But you didn't.

Yes, there were lots of things you didn't do.

But you put up with me and you loved me and you protected me.

There were lots of thing I wanted to make up to you when you returned from
Vietnam. But you didn't.

A letter from an unnamed woman to her husband, who died in the Vietnam War.

It's important to recognize and appreciate our loved ones and friends for
constantly tolerating our idiosyncrasies, our flaws, and our
less-than-desirable traits. If we put themselves in their positions, we can
then begin to imagine the kinds of things they could've done to hurt us in
return, but didn't.

*Disappointed*

Just found out that a friend was seeing another girl and he had just broken off with his previous girlfriend barely a month. Am very disappointed with him. Expected so much more from him...

Its my life

This song just came to my mind. Could only vaguely remember the chorus, "stop bugging me.... ... Its my life" Could not quite recall the artist that did that number. Tried to google it. Ping - Dr Alban. Dunno how many of you can remember this song. But it was a hit at Mambo nites...haha.

Anyhow, you'll be surprised how many songs that are titled "Its my life" or something close. Glad to know that so many people out there share that same feeling as I do sometimes...

Stop bugging me stop bothering me
Stop bugging me stop forcing me
Stop fighting me stop yelling me
It's my life. - Dr. Alban

*wonderful* Wednesday

It was Salsa time again. *What? You just went on Saturday?!* Well this one's a make-up class. Will be taking a road trip to Malacca with Timothy caregroup over the weekend, so will be missing class. Had to make-up otherwise I'll fall behind... ;)

Anyhow, it was really interesting. For some obscure cosmic reason, there are ALWAYS more girls than guys at the classes. *not that I am complaining or anything, I get more practice*. And I've had many accusations thrown at me, saying that the reason why I go for classes was to meet more girls. *giggle* I deny that FLATLY, and there is absolutely no truth in it at all! The reason I'm there is because of my friends, period.

Anyhow, yesterday's turnout was pretty huge. Perhaps around 8 guys and about 20 girls? Unfortunately, did not get even one phone number *mumble*. The thing is that it was kinda funny. We were taught a couple of moves as usual and given the time to practise in pairs. The guys were all lined up one side and the girls the other. Because the girls outnumbered the guys big time, it meant that the girls had to take turns to pair up with the guys. And after a round of practise, the girs would swap.

Here comes the funny part *to me at least, I'm sure the girls might not have appreciated it if they sat down and thought about it*. When its time to change, its like musical chairs, everyone scrambles - and switch guys. Its kinda funny. And if you don't have a partner *I'm talking about the guys* all you had to do was to raise your hand and you'll see them running to you... I've never been so desired before...haha.

Just me in my loser world....:D

Sassy Saturday

Have you seen people who are usually serious suddenly act in a way which you would not have expected? I call this the crowd effect. Someone once said that, "Man is intelligent, its people that are stupid". Sounds weird? Not so. One of the things that would come to my mind immediately is how in school, especially during the orientation programs in JC or Uni. How you would do silly things like go to orchard road and make a total fool out of yourselves in front of total strangers. Sheesh. The mere thought of doing that again sends shudders down my spine!

But thats the thing. Its the thought of being silly that scares us. But thinking back, while it made you look silly, it was fun because there were so many people to act silly with! So you would not have been singled out. But I must confess, acting like a doofus on the streets is kinda liberating, being able to shed the inhibation and act silly.

in·hi·bi·tion
n.

1. The act of inhibiting or the state of being inhibited.
2. Something that restrains, blocks, or suppresses.
3. Psychology. Conscious or unconscious restraint of a behavioral process, a desire, or an impulse.

Dancing lessons reminded me of that kind of emotion. It was liberating because it was a group thing, acting "silly" together. Not to mention that we were able to laugh at ourselves. It nice to feel silly again. When was the last time you felt silly and enjoyed it? The moment -- priceless.

Stem divorce with polygamy

You cannot imagine the horror when I saw the headline of the newspaper. In today's edition of TODAY, a letter written by a Mr Lim Thiam Poh put forth the idea that polygamy will help stem divorce. He argues that its an age old tradition that should be revived. He says, "... allowing polygamy across all cultural groups does not mean it has to be encouraged - just because we allow the use of tobacco doesn't mean we advocate lighting up". He also claims that in monogamus unions, adultery is the LEADING cause of divorce. He also mentions that its men's natural tendency to stray and have more than one sexual companion.

This is my response. I'm not sure if this arose because of the recent remark made by our government that perhaps they need to step into areas of sex and procreation. While this suggestion of polygamy might try to solve some of the problems, I think it creates a whole load of backlash which does not solve the root problem but pretends to solve it at a superficical level but creating a bigger disaster in the process. Here is a challange to the family unit as a nucleus.

The solution of polygamy does not address the issue of unlimted wants. If a man can leave his wife for another, does polygamy ensure the he will not leave the 2 of them for another (we are assuming that polygamy stops at 2)? If a man has lost interest in the woman whom he pledges himself to and decides to divorce her, doesn't it make sense that he can still do that with 2 wives? What safeguard is there to prevent him for doign the same? I must agree that men have a natural tendency to stray. It is our weakness. But at the same time, lets not use that as a crutch. To plagerise a saying, "BE A MAN", face up to that challange and fight it, not bow down and complain its in my nature. Because its not. If polygamy was such an effective tool of preserving family units, then in my opinion, many civilized cultures wuold have natually adopted it as "natural". But in fact, thats not the case.

To me, the root problem is not how a man can be easily tempted by some other gorgerous chick. Its about the attititude towards the sactity of marriage. Somehow along the way, man has figured that its no longer important. The vows of "till death do us part" no longer mean anything. Its sad and that's one of the threats to the family unit nowadays, to be bombarded by silly suggestions tell us how we need to change the way the family unit is comprised.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven and eight

They say that you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I challange that saying. I must confess that learning can be rather tough, not because so much of whether we understand what we learn or whether we manage to retain it but more of whether we want to put our heart into learning something. Think sometimes pride can prevent us from doing the correct thing. The Chinese have a saying, literally translated as "to love your face", which means to put emphasis on one's reputation as focus. I say, heck the reputation. We should do what we love to do regardless (ps. there is no such word as irregardless as some people like to say) of what others think. Think the reason why life as a teenager was so much more fun and exciting was because we had a care less attitude then. Now we become worry warts. I want to feel liberated again.

Anyhow, over the weekend, I went for my first Salsa class.

sal·sa
n.

1. A spicy sauce of chopped, usually uncooked vegetables or fruit, especially tomatoes, onions, and chili peppers, used as a condiment.
2. Music. A popular form of Latin-American dance music, characterized by Afro-Caribbean rhythms, Cuban big-band dance melodies, and elements of jazz and rock.

Nope, did not learn how to cook, but learned how to dance. It was pretty fun actually, quite embarassing because I'm hardly graceful. Not to mention that you had to dance with total strangers of the opposite sex. But all in all, it was a good experience learnign to laugh at yourself again. I miss doing that.

Ain't no mountain high enough

Was thinking about mountains and valleys and what a pain it is to have to go over them. After going up, you need to come down and it's pretty much repetitive. Up down, up down.

moun·tain
n.

1. Abbr. Mt. or Mtn. A natural elevation of the earth's surface having considerable mass, generally steep sides, and a height greater than that of a hill.

val·ley
n. pl. val·leys

1. An elongated lowland between ranges of mountains, hills, or other uplands, often having a river or stream running along the bottom.
2. An extensive area of land drained or irrigated by a river system.
3. A depression or hollow resembling or suggesting a valley, as the point at which the two slopes of a roof meet.

There are always going to be mountains, their colossal presence is a fixture that dots our landscape, obstacles that will hinder, that you need to exert more strength to get over. The climb will be tough, exhausting, perhaps leaving you out of breath many times. But the thing about mountains is that there is a maximun height, its finite. And when you reach the top, take a minute to look around you. To take in the beauty of the surroundings. You've become a better person, a stronger person. And having scaled that mountain, you can begin your journey down. But there will always be a higher moutnain to scale.

Are you ready to meet a new challange.

Listen, baby
Ain't no mountain high
Ain't no valley low
Ain't no river wide enough, baby
(The Temptations)

Systems restored

Ah, how it feels to be up and about at peak efficiency. Guess that's something that we take for granted. Its only when the things which you never really thought about are taken from you, do you realise how impotant it actaully is. Health is one of those things. Sleep is another.

You think little of it, perhaps abuse your body a bit by sleeping late etc, you wake up one day feeling really sick, aweful and you tell yourself that you really need to take care of yourself better the next time. You nurse yourself back to health and when you're back to health, you do silly things again....haha vicious cycle huh.

Guess that's what it means to be human - silly.

Maintenance

Well, been feeling sick for the last couple of days. Missed church on Sunday. Brain not functioning well so will be down for maintenance. New confessions will be up when brain has been defragged.

Phasing out

Something weird happened today, as I was driving, I suddenly phased out for a moment. It was for a short moment but it was a really weird feeling. What do I mean by phase out? Tried to do a search on the web but the definitions were different.

What I meant was kinda like I stepped out of the present time and stepped into an alternate time. And I was not aware of what was going on in the present time. Really weird haha. Think I might be too tired...

A Father's love

I had an epiphany (for those who do not know what it means, read about it here). I grew up in a household that tolerated no nonsense and believed very much that children should be seen and not heard. Through the years, I've grew accustomed to that kind of dicipline. I must confess that there are many times, when there are children about, they tend to be noisy and all over the place. A different upbringing I conclude.

While I understand the difference, sometimes it irritates me and I do wonder why parents allow their children to behave the way they do. As parents, I suspect that we all tell ourselves that we want to bring up our children in a certian prescribed way (something that we have formulated at the back of our minds). I find my self in a position when I see my friend's children behaving in a certain way and I tell myself that I would not allow my child to behave like that. However, its easy to see a nice pair of shoes, another to try to fit into them. I myself am not a parent so I recognize that I do not understand.

Bear with me, I'm coming to the epiphany. I suddenly realise that despite what our minds tell us, what experiences that have molded us, will give way under the pressure of love for your own child. Things which we say we want to do, will give way when your child runs up to you and calls you daddy or when he/she smiles at you. (I must qualify that no parent will tolerate the kid's bad behaviour, I am not talking about those situations, but even then, the parent's love is usually enough to cover the wrong that was done and forgiveness after).

At that moment, I realised the greatness of the love that our Heavenly Father has for us. That while He loves us so tremendously, we have been rebellious children, doing so much wrong that hurts him, but the love of the Father is greater then all the wrongs put together. He tolerates because of love and in that perfect love, He sacrifices soemthing most dear, His Son. That we may be redeemed. What love is this? A love that covers a multitude of sins. Thank you Dad.

I look forward to the day when I can also be a loving father.

After a cuppa, feels like 80km/h.

Walking and running

The wise saying that you need to learn how to walk before you learn how to run isn't really all that "wise". Think its a whole load of common sense actually. Have you ever seen a baby try to walk? He crawls, tried to stand up, falls, tries again, fails and the cycle repeats itself till he finally succeeds. Its a process that happens over time and not a period of time. The tenacity...

te·na·cious (t-nshs)
adj.

1. Holding or tending to hold persistently to something, such as a point of view.
2. Holding together firmly; cohesive: a tenacious material.
3. Clinging to another object or surface; adhesive: tenacious lint.
4. Tending to retain; retentive: a tenacious memory.


Falling down is part of a process for all of us. It can refer to situations where you physically fall, or it can happen at an emotional level, spiritual etc. The thing is that we have that ability to pick ourselves up. As a child we were able to do it, its within us, its an inherent ability. But like everything, practise makes perfect. Not perfect at falling down, gracefully, but learning to get up, pat your behind and move on.

But somehow, the older we get, the more fearful we are of falling. And when we do, we become so fixated on that idea that we lose our focus. We sit and wallow in self pity. Move on, pick yourself up. There is still a world out there, and it ain't stopping for anyone.

Feels like 30km/h

Had to drag myself out of bed again. Shambled to the toilet to take a shower, almost fell asleep standing. Slipped the car out of the parking lot, made a left, and then another. A taxi out of nowhere made a right. It was a stop line. I did not have the energy to horn. At Bedok, a bus was wating along the road, it was a double zig-zag line. I horned. Suddenly, my energy spiked... Now it feels like 50km/h...

I want to sleep...

Yesterday on my way home, I saw a SFK registered Toyota Vios along side the road, a lady was in the car, the hazzard lights were flashing. A man was standing behind the car trying to push the Vios. Trying to jump-start no doubt. I smiled to myself...

Green green grass

There is this new so called "reality" televion show. Can't remember the exact name of it, but think its called "Exchanging spouses" or something like that. The aim of the show is to answer the ago old proverbial statement, "The grass is greener on the other side".

pro·ver·bi·al (pr-vûrb-l)
adj.

1. Of the nature of a proverb.
2. Expressed in a proverb.
3. Widely referred to, as if the subject of a proverb; famous.


Its about 2 families, usually one better off than the other family in terms of material comforts. The 2 families exchange wives for a week. There is a cash prize of $20000 and the new wife will decide for the family how to spend it. Its a pretty duh show actually but nights can get a bit boring, so...

so is the grass greener on the other side? Perhaps it is, but it might be bitter at the same time. Or perhaps more difficult to digest. So the secret is to actually be contented. A simple life is way much better.

Upside down

Woke up with a splitting headache. Had to practically drag my butt out of bed. Whole world is spinning around, it feels like its gonna be a roller coaster ride today.

Whatever the case, beats being on a merry-go-round.

Weight on/off my shoulders

The experience of weightlessness is a pretty amazing thing. I figure the only time that any person can feel that is when he or she is floating in their mother's womb. The feeling of relaxation, passing time without a care... priceless. The other alternative is fly up to the moon.

I spent the National day weekend up in Malaysia, went scuba diving with some friends. It was a relaxing time away from the hustle and bustle of the world. Sitting by the beach, watching time go by, without a care. The experience of scuba diving was out of this world. Besides the feeling of weightlessness, the visual treat to the underwater world was simply out of this world.

The thing with scuba diving is that there is this huge load that you need to carry, the compressed air that allows you to stay underwater for an extended amount of time. The trips to the dive site usually takes a couple of minutes. We had to gear up, and clamour up the boat, which would then take us to the site. Its at those moments where we agonize over the burden that we carry. But the moment we enter the crystal clear waters, the focus changes to one of relaxation and of awe. Awe of the new world that we enter.

Ironic actually. Its the tank that allows us to enter a new world and yet at the same time, its the tank that gives us that burden to carry. I figure its because of the tank that makes us look forward to the experience under the sea and it's the burden that we carry that makes it all the more worthwhile. And the moment we step off the boat into the water, the instant feeling of weightlessness. Bliss.

We all carry our burdens. We all have them, the responsibilites that are placed on our shoulders and we fight gravity every single day of our lives. But its these heavy weights that give meaning to the rest and relaxing times that we are able to steal from the world. Our personal time away from the world, our weight, our air tank. Don't drown in your world.

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams, yeah
Love me mouth to mouth now
You know I can't resist
'Cause you're the air
That I breathe (BSB)

Life most ordinary

Yeap, its good to be back after a short break. It was a definite good trip. Managed to catch up on much needed sleep. Spent the last couple of days as a beach bum just sitting around. Its pretty tiring work. Fortunately, I did manage to squeeze in a considerable amount of thinking and pondering despite falling into a deep trance (also known as sleep) many a times.

One of the interesting things that I realised is this. We usually use the word ordianry to describe ourselves (for me at least). But are we really ordinary?

or·di·nar·y
adj.

1. Commonly encountered; usual. See Synonyms at common.
2.
1. Of no exceptional ability, degree, or quality; average.
2. Of inferior quality; second-rate.
3. Having immediate rather than delegated jurisdiction, as a judge.
4. Mathematics. Designating a differential equation containing no more than one independent variable.

So am I really all that ordinary? Thought I might come up with the 10 craziest things I have done:

1) Parachuted from a C130
2) Heli-rappelled from a helicopter
3) Done scuba-diving at advance level
4) travelled to Afghanistan twice, once to the Northern Alliance and once to Kabul
5) Been to Tajikistan
6) Backpacked in Eurpoe for a month
7) Worked on board a ship for 6 weeks
8) Worked in -15 degrees environment
9) Held a photo exhibition in the History Museum
10) Climbed Mt Ophir

Ordinary? Hardly.

Milky milkmaid

One of my favourite things when I was young was the "Milkmaid" brand condense milk. My granny had this habit of having tea at 3pm in the afternoon. We would have tea and eat biscuits while watching re-runs of chinese dramas on channel 8, the mandarin channel.

The condense milk usually came in a can and my granny would open it and leave it in the fridge till she needed it. Once in a while, I remember, when no one was looking, I would slowly creep to the fridge, open it, dip my finger in the can and scoop out a generous portion on condense milk and lick my finger clean. Mmmm... it was heaven.

That was definitely a rush, not to mention the sugar high. Fortuantely I did not turn out to be some drug addict or something, and with all that sneaking around in the kitchen.

My love for condense milk has carried over into my adult life. The aunty in the pantry also stocks up on condense milk, to be used with the "kopi tiam" coffee which she brews every morning. Fortunately for me, I no longer need to sneak around for my daily dose of condense milk. I have it with my cuppa coffee every morning. But everyone in the office knows how much I love condense milk....

Life on the Fast Track

Driving on the highway can be quite an experience even for a seasoned driver like myself.Every day is a brand new journey to the destination where you are headed for. Sometimes, the right most lane is the fast-track, you zip by, on other days, its the slowest and you get stuck behind traffic. The left road, the road less travelled, somehow bocomes the express lane. But whatever the case, you live with the decision on which lane to stay in. Sometimes its a good choice, sometimes not. Sometimes you get stuck in it and all you can do is to just ride it out, it usually get better when you get over the Shears Bridge (I drive on the ECP by the way). On other occasions, a lane, an opportunity, appears and you filter into an adjacent lane and once again cruising, leaving the rest of the world behind. There are big cars, some with especially big butts, that block your front view totally. There are the reckless drivers, the sports cars, the lorries and trucks and no to mention the notorious Taxis. The beautiful cars, the ugly ones, the rare ones (like my Toledo) and of course not forgetting the common ones (like the Vios). The expensive ones and the rich ones. What a myrid of cars!

Interestingly, it does not matter what kind of vehicle you drive, you face the same challange as any car. Does not matter if its a 200bhp car or a conservative 78bhp car, a Subaru WRX STi or a Nissan March You are still stuck in the same traffic. You get horned at, squeezed out of your lane, overtaken, have someone cut into your lane, you jam your brakes, you curse, you move on...

Well, life is pretty much the same ain't it? We all face our set of obstacles, we all have to make decisions, we all have to live with the consequence of our decisions. Sometimes we get a lucky break, sometime we just have to ride it out, sometimes our future gets obstructed, sometimes its as clear as a cloudless sky. Whatever the case, we all have a journey to make... a destination to reach. How do you want to finish that journey. Personally, I wind my windows down, I blast my music, wind in my hair, wearing my shades and I take whatever comes...


I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened (Jon Foreman)

Irony

Today, like any other day was pretty routine in the morning. Had the usual, "I'm too tired, and I just want to sleep". Had to drag myself to the toilet and wake myself up by taking a shower and then off to sending my mum to work. Interestingly, my mum and her colleague were talking about something that happened in their office the day before. Apparently, their female manager (of sorts) screwed up big time. Lets not go into too much details. Suffice to say, that the police were involved. I jest, but mean no insult, but the manager was a female.

i·ro·ny
n. pl. i·ro·nies

1.
1. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
2. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
3. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect. See Synonyms at wit1.
2.
1. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: “Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated” (Richard Kain).
2. An occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity. See Usage Note at ironic.
3. Dramatic irony.
4. Socratic irony.


Why the irony? Well, on "the Morning show" FD and VL hot topic of the day was, "Are female managers or male managers better?" A lot of statistics were quoted saying only 25% of top management in Singapore are women etc etc *yawn*. There was much talk and a lot of testosterone and progesterone flying over the airwaves. All that ego that was exchanged over SMS or the phone calls....EGAD! I really wonder what is the purpose of such topics? Gender wars? I mean we have the chauvinistics in one camp and the feminist on the other. Both of which are extremes.

Did you know that in the Creation story, Adam was first created, then followed by Eve. That was the order that they were created. Man from dust, Eve from Man. And also interestingly, Eve was created from a rib bone from Adam. Why? Well, Eve was created from the side of Adam. Not from a part of him that was above him or a part that was below him but from a part next to his heart. So Eve was made an equal to him, beside him. Interesting huh. Go figure......

War of the Worlds

The book written by HG Wells is a classic. Not very attractive by today's standard, but a true classic. Story line was simple, punch line tremendous. The ending can be quite anti-climax of you are looking for some spetacular reversal on the aliens by the humans, liberation from oppression etc. But the ending was of simplicity and yet had a tremendous significance.

But life is like that isn't it? The Chinese have a saying, "I've eaten more salt than you have rice." At the heart of that idiom as we call it is experience. The interesting about experience is that its a very personal commodity, it not common per se because its always unique. Its personalized and its yours. No one can take it from you, it'll stick to you till you die. We have earned that right, because we went through it. With blood and sweat (I exaggerate but you know what I mean).

Like any commodity, experience is something you need to use so that you can get something out of it. There is no such thing as a bad or lousy experience, all experience is good. But it's only good if we learn from it, if we don't, then its just a wasted resource. So really, its a matter of the attitude that we take with reagrds to the things we go through. Do we come out stronger, or do we come out of it unchanged, unlearned? You decide.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. (George Santayana)

Escapade

The windows down,
the wind blowing,
hair in the wind,
sunnies on my bridge.

You body is a wonderland by John Mayer in the background.... Time for an escapade.

Rain on my face

Its finally that time of the year. The monsoon rains are here to bring the much needed relief from the scorching sun. The downpours are pretty heavy, flooding certain areas in Singapore. To quote the Flying Dutchman, "There is ponding in some areas in Singapore, and if you are a tourist and haven't seen it before, you should go and take a look".

Have you ever wondered what an irony water is? Its so precious that it brings life to a lifeless desert, and at the same time, it can cause collateral damage of gargantuan proportions as witnessed in the recent Boxing Day tsunami.

When I was younger, my pals and I used to hang out at the beach pretty much. We really didn't have that many hi-tech toys to play with then. The sand and the sea were convenient mediums to satisfy our childhood fantasies. And one of the things which I've notice was how every time a wave came crashing onto the shore, it took a piece of land with it. And after many time (over the years) a portion of the beach just fell away. This was what we learnt in geography as "erosion".

e·ro·sion
n.

1. The process of eroding or the condition of being eroded: erosion of the beach; progressive erosion of confidence in our legal system; erosion of the value of the dollar abroad.
2. The group of natural processes, including weathering, dissolution, abrasion, corrosion, and transportation, by which material is worn away from the earth's surface.

But now, the Parks Board has rebuilt that portion, strengthening that area by builing a concrete structure.

Relationships are like that. We are constantly subjected to wave after wave of emotional torment and perhaps irritation until one day after all the erosion, we finally succumb to the pressure of the wave and collaspe. The relationship is broken.
Of course you can just lie there in bitterness or in defeat, or you can choose to build something out of that wreckage. Something stronger than what is was before, to build a bridge to overcome that portion which has eroded away.

Are you a bridge builder?

The unfortunate state of mind

πετρα: pierisaurus http://dashblogconfessions.blogspot.com says:
who are the less fortunate?

Evil is what evil does. says:
Ummm.

Evil is what evil does. says:
good question.

πετρα: pierisaurus http://dashblogconfessions.blogspot.com says:
who's to say?

Evil is what evil does. says:
Nah

Evil is what evil does. says:
I think those who thinks that they are less fortunate, are less fortunate.

πετρα: pierisaurus http://dashblogconfessions.blogspot.com says:
less fortunate is more of a state of mind that a physical state...

πετρα: pierisaurus http://dashblogconfessions.blogspot.com says:
yup! agreed

Evil is what evil does. says:
it is just your mentality.

Evil is what evil does. says:
bingo, your right!

πετρα: pierisaurus http://dashblogconfessions.blogspot.com says:
i'm gooooood ahhaah

Evil is what evil does. says:
Bring to mind the fortune teller story.

Evil is what evil does. says:
Heard of that one?

πετρα: pierisaurus http://dashblogconfessions.blogspot.com says:
??

πετρα: pierisaurus http://dashblogconfessions.blogspot.com says:
nope. pray pls tell

Evil is what evil does. says:
Okay.
Evil is what evil does. says:
THere was this fortunre teller, rumoured to be very accurate.
Evil is what evil does. says:
so one day, someone.. let say David, decided to pay him a little visit.
Evil is what evil does. says:
The fortunre teller look at him, and said that he is going to have bad luck.
Evil is what evil does. says:
and that he is going to meet up with a little accident.
Evil is what evil does. says:
And when he went to work after that, he met up with an accident, and was hospitalised for three days.
Evil is what evil does. says:
after the three days, he was simply wowed by the fortune tellers ability to forsee the future, so he decided to pay him a visit again.
Evil is what evil does. says:
THis time, the fortune teller says he is going to have a good fortune.
Evil is what evil does. says:
and with that in mind, David went to work again.
Evil is what evil does. says:
And met with an accident yet again.
Evil is what evil does. says:
And was hospitalised for three days.
Evil is what evil does. says:
So this time, he went back to the fortune teller and demanded why he saw good fortune in him this time, where he clearly met up with the same accident and got him hospitalised three days again.
Evil is what evil does. says:
the fortune teller said. "Well, you are still alive, aren't you?"
Evil is what evil does. says:
end.

πετρα: pierisaurus http://dashblogconfessions.blogspot.com says:
yeah....pple want to believe the things they want to believe in

Evil is what evil does. says:
Well, I never believed in star signs and predictions.

Evil is what evil does. says:
yeah, exactly.

Evil is what evil does. says:
you know, you could write something like that in your blog.

Evil is what evil does. says:
pretty interesting stuff.


(this is for my net buddie, Roger. Cheers dude)

Nonsense and Insensibilities

Phua Chu Kang immortalized the saying, "Use your blian (brain)". Although it might be redundant to say, its amazing how little people exercise their brains or bother to really use it. The brain in a muscle, at least that's what Michelle Pieffer in "Dangerous Minds" claims. And like any other muscle, you need to exercise it to strengthen it. While I might not totally agree with her, I must say that some people have atrophied brains.

at·ro·phy Pronunciation Key (tr-f)
n. pl. at·ro·phies

1. Pathology. A wasting or decrease in size of a body organ, tissue, or part owing to disease, injury, or lack of use: muscular atrophy of a person affected with paralysis.
2. A wasting away, deterioration, or diminution: intellectual atrophy.

v. at·ro·phied, at·ro·phy·ing, at·ro·phies
v. tr.

To cause to wither or deteriorate; affect with atrophy.

v. intr.

To waste away; wither or deteriorate.

The readily available common sense somehow does not seem to be so common after all. If natural selection was a process that really determines the survival of the human race, one would really have to wonder, why humans are still around. Evolution indeed!

I was driving my usual route this morning, off to do my usual errands before work. I usually take the ECP to work and there, Lo and Behold, was a man standing by the side of the road waiting to cross. Mind you, this is the morning traffic that we were talking about. Not to mention that it is dangerous and can prove to be fatal if your feet were a tad slower than your brain when dashing across the road. Guess that is strike one for uncommon sense already. There was a bridge Further down the road, less than 50m, which he could take to cross the road. Strike 2 for uncommon sense.

I must confess, however, that all of us are like that. Brainless even when we meet obvious face to face. It sometimes feel like cataracts, not that I have them (not that old yet), and that blinds us to the common wisdom that human beings should have. After all, we do rule the Earth right? Its our selfisness and thoughtlessness, and the list goes on, that really jeopardizes our continued existence. Sin... the bane of mankind.

Absolutely Relative

I'm been pretty much a computer geek for the most part of my life. Have always loved "techie" stuff. Think some of you have seen how excited I get when I talk about gadgets and stuff. Sigh... what a bliss to have tech! My first computer was an Apple. It had a monochrome monitor and it sat on the CPU. Beside it was the disk drive. What we now know as the hard drive was non-existent then. If you know something about monitors, they have progressed slowly over time. From the monochrome (Which was green on black by the way and not white on black) to the CGAs, the EGAs and finally the VGAs, the super VGAs and now, the LCDs. (Hmmm that was a mouthful of acronyms huh)

It just occured to me that in the olden days (20 years ago) the shades of the image that the computer can generate has vastly changed. From monochrome to a myrid of colours. Even the shades of grey have changed tremendously that now we have what you call gradient colour. (ie many different shades of a colour). Its funny you know, life in the 80s was simpler. Things were usually right or wrong. I never really had to to wrestle with things like I do nowadays. Life then was like the monochrome monitor. 2 tones, right and wrong.

In the new century. the new buzz word is relative (not the family relation kind of relative). Everything seems to be relative. Its no longer right or wrong, its relative. Its on a grayscale now. It depends form person to person. Its like the super VGA. Many varaitions. And this reflects the attitudes and lives of people in this century. Everything (almost that is) is no longer right or wrong, but its relative to one's experience in life.

In math, I remember that we had to learn this number line theory. It was basically a line and on it you indicate a zero and then on the right of the zero you place a positive integer and to the left of the zero you place a negative integer. That helped me much in my math and I think that also helps us see clearer into life. While we might think that eveything is relative, there cannot be a relative without an absolute. In the case of the number line, without the zero (the absolute) the positive and the negative doesn't mean anything at all.

So, what's your absolute?

Looking forward, looking back

To use a cliche phrase, "Time flies" is an understatment in my present state. In a blinking of an eye, I've turned 30. Yes the big 30! And yet, at the age of my prime, I am hesitant to move forward. Why? Ironical actually.

I remembered when I was young, much younger. Perhaps in my single digits. One of the thrills in life then was to put on the glasses of your grandparents. Thinking that they look cool and made you look more mature. Nevermind that the high degree of the spectacles made you dizzy as you peered through those glasses. You would have to wonder, whether looking through the eyepiece gave you a glimpse of the future. But there was that eagerness, goal in life, to grow up as fast as you can.

Schooling days were even better... Especially in primary school. Being the youngest then (primary one) was the worse of all. You were the smallest and eveyone else was bigger than you. You make a vow to yourself that you want to grow up faster. You want to be the biggest in school. And when you finally reach Primary 6, there was a sense of acomplishment, a sigh of satisfaction, of relief. You were big brother. But only to be brought low once again when you entered Secondary school.

University was of course the climax of it (well at least for the education part) as the years go by, siganlling the start of work, earning a financial independance. Finally a metamorphosis occurs and behold, a young adult. The gravel road only begins and the journey a long one.

If processes and mental deductions were to work, then it would be natural to assume the pursuit of growing up should continue. But yet I find myself at the cross-road, looking back, no longer forward as a child. I wonder why. There is much to look forward to actually... marriage, starting a family, bringing up children, retiring and finally dying. Exciting no doubt, but I look back earnestly, wishing I could turn back time, that I could enjoy once again the freedom as a child.

So I ask why? I conclude, its the responsibilites that we take on that scares us.... but it is those that we take on that builds us up in character. Afraid to fail, but its only in failure can there be true success. There are going to be many more times when I'm gonna lament and wanting to look back, but I know that I need to look forward, to finish this race of life. And I want to finish strong as a winner of a crown that I am due.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (Paul of Tarsus)

The Best Mixtape

Today's traffic on the road was surprisingly light, could drive on the ECP from Bedok to the Meyer Road exit without having to stop. The weather was cooling after a whole night's worth of rain, the roads wet. I decided that this would be the ideal situation to drive with your windows down. Actually, not really... You see, after the rain, your windows tend to get wet and if you wind them down, they will have these ugly streak marks when you wind them up later...but what the heck...the weather was too good to pass.

The radio was blaring in the background, that's how I like my music. This brought me back to when I was 14, I had just gotten a new radio... a Samsung I must add, and one of my top expenses then was to get tapes. Tapes that I could record the nice songs I heard over the radio. That's how I started my music compilation. Sometimes if the songs were really good, I'll copy the same song in succession of one another. Forgive me, technology was not so advance then that we could set our players to repeat mode, we had to make do with what we had. All we had then was high speed dubbing... the effect that makes any singer (including yourself if you wanted) sound like Alvin. You know Alvin? The Chipmunk.

Think it was the mission of most kids I knew then to come up with the best mixtape, a compilation of the best, most outrageous songs that would get us going. Till this day, that is still one of my pursuits in life. Its interesting how many genres of music there are out there, from the mainstream pop, rock to jazz, the blues and now, alternative, punk rock, alternative rock... No wonder we get lost in a music store. Finding a life partner is like that isn't it? Finding that best mixtape of qualities that bring out the best qualities in ourself... I'll never stop looking for that best mixtape. Just make sure you don't get lost in your music store... your world.

You gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you (Butch Walker)

Oxy 5,10,15

Along side with Clearasil, Oxy was one of the best friends of a pubesence teenager, especially when there was an outbreak of acne. The thing with Oxy and any other anti-pimple cream in that barbaric age was that it actually did more harm than help. It was bad enough that you had this itchy zit on your face, and that it was big, bulging and just waiting to burst to reveal its gooy content, it was another to apply the cream to assist the eruption of the pimple! It does that by eroding the skin around the pimple, killing it so that it starts to flake and then "eruption" haha. Good ole days huh.

Anyhow, why was I talking about Oxy in the first place? Well, its kinda far-fetched but was thinking of oxymora (the plural of oxymoron, see below) actually. What is an oxy-what? Well here goes...

ox·y·mo·ron Pronunciation Key (ks-môrn, -mr-)
n. pl. ox·y·mo·ra (-môr, -mr) or ox·y·mo·rons

A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence and a mournful optimist.

[Greek oxumron, from neuter of oxumros, pointedly foolish : oxus, sharp; see oxygen + mros, foolish, dull.]oxy·mo·ronic (-m-rnk) adj.
oxy·mo·roni·cal·ly adv.

Oooo big word huh. The first time I heard of this word was when Ms Fernandaz spewed this word in Literature class when we were learning about Romeo and how moronic, I mean romantic he was, trying to impress Juliet with his repertoire of contradictary terms. Hard to believe I took literature in school? Trust me, I hated it and till this day, I still remembered how Ms Fernandaz taunted me saying I would fail! Boy did I show her, the moment of trimuph was when I waved my O level results in her face! Ha!

Anyway, back to oxymorons, you should try it some time. I'll give you a headstart...

Beautiful diasaster, Vertical Horizon. ENJOY!

Why blog?

Someone asked, "Why on earth would someone want to share your life to the whole world over the web?" I wondered for a while and decided "Why won't anyone want to share their life to the whole world over the web?" Guess its a really personal thing that we have our opinion about.

Some people are more private about their lives and their thoughts than others. I never suffered from that kind of restriction before, I always spoke my mind. But I must say that sometimes it has gotten me into trouble. I remember the time when I was in primary school, talking was alway my forte. I never had problems expressing my thoughts, much to the dismay of my math teacher. Remembered that she called my mum and told her that I talked too much. I got a good trashing for that.

I digress. I guess at the end of the day, I just want to put my thoughts down. I know that I'm really lousy at journalling and stuff, I think about alot of stuff and it lingers for a while and then its gone, almost like a fleeting moment. Some peole collect saga seeds, I want to collect my thoughts. And guess this is the best way I can think of.

Echo, echo...
We come, we go
No I don't want to be just another
Echo, echo...

Do you hear me?
Cause I need to, just to reach you
Do you hear me?
Coming clearly?
Am I hollow?
Just an echo (Keith Kane)

I don't just want to be an echo.

Beginnings