The Things You Didn't Do

It's mostly the things we do that make a difference to other people's lives. But sometimes, it's the things we don't do that truly make a difference the rage we don't fly into when someone does something wrong, the arrogance we don't develop even though we are mostly right, the violence we don't inflict when our tempers flare up, the punishment we don't mete out when someone lets us down.

When someone truly loves us, they will be able to forgive our flaws and mistakes with grace. What's unfortunate though, is that most of us tend to remember people for the things they've done, but forget about the things that they could've done, but chose not to.

A woman once wrote a letter to her husband.

Remember the day I borrowed your brand new car and I dented it?
I thought you'd kill me but you didn't.

And remember the time I dragged you to the beach and you said it would rain and it did? I thought you'd say, "I told you so", but you didn't.

Do you remember the time I flirted with all the guys to make you jealous and you were.I thought you'd leave me, but you didn't.

Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry pie all over your car rug. I thought you'd hit me but you didn't.

And remember the time I forgot to tell you the dance was formal and you showed up in jeans? I thought you'd drop me. But you didn't.

Yes, there were lots of things you didn't do.

But you put up with me and you loved me and you protected me.

There were lots of thing I wanted to make up to you when you returned from
Vietnam. But you didn't.

A letter from an unnamed woman to her husband, who died in the Vietnam War.

It's important to recognize and appreciate our loved ones and friends for
constantly tolerating our idiosyncrasies, our flaws, and our
less-than-desirable traits. If we put themselves in their positions, we can
then begin to imagine the kinds of things they could've done to hurt us in
return, but didn't.