Cogito ergo sum - I think therefore I am

René Descartes once said that. I'm no philosophy student but guess it makes sense to me. A friend once asked, "Is marriage an investment?" and that got me pretty much thinking. It's an interesting question, but I guess at the root of it all, it really depends on the perspective that one has. What is an investment?

in·vest·ment
n.

1. The act of investing.
2. An amount invested.
3. Property or another possession acquired for future financial return or benefit.
4. A commitment, as of time or support.
5. A military siege.
6. Archaic.
1. A garment; a vestment.
2. An outer covering or layer.

In its context, marriage can be an investment. You get a wife, you have children, you build a family. Looking towards the day when you retire and your children are old enough to look after you. You have a partner, someone to keep you company in good times and bad times. But the question I have is what is the ROI? What is to prevent your wife from looking for a better investment or for your children to look for another investment? I think - (therefore I am) that our thought patterns are important in shpaing not only ourselves but invariably, it will shape the people around us.

If marriage is an investment then alot of decisons will be made because of the investment slant given to it. Someone once told me that a child's behaviour towards things are learned behaviour and not taught. I jest, but the point I'm trying to make is that at the end of the day, the way you want to see things gives you power in that way.

I particularly liked the last definition of investment -- A garment; a vestment. Why? because, a marriage is putting on the garment of love. To choose to love someone despite of all the shortcomings that person had. And it speaks also of the love that Chirst had for his bride, to the point that He died for her. Amazing love!

Words that heal, words that kill

Was treated to a facinated revelation yesterday. A couple of us went to watch The U.K. Magnets, a capella group comprising of 6 British guys in suits. Their rendition of popular covers were fantastic as the crowd cheered and cheered them on. I must admit that it was a very enjoyable experience.

It was amazing to see the kind of sounds the human voice can produce. Especially the percussionist. He was pretty amazing and guess he's the backbone of the group. Not to mention that he seems to work the hardest. Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought that the human voice can produce such sounds!

a cap·pel·la
adv. Music

Without instrumental accompaniment.


[Italian : a, in the manner of + cappella, chapel, choir.]

The human voice is just amazing. The sounds that it can make, the unique voices that define a person. The words that it can make, think of all the languages that you can converse in. The words that are spoken forth are also power. There are words that can bring healing to another person's life, there are words that can end another's life. Words that can bring war and destruction, and also words that can bring world peace (Sandra Bullock spoke these words in Miss Congeniality)

James once said that "... the tongue is a fire. The tongue is an unrighteous world among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the cycle of nature, and set on fire by hell". How true this is. The power of our words. Do we realise it?

Life is a roller coaster

Realised that the traffic on the road to work on the ECP seems to have lessen quite substantially. Usually it gets pretty jammed up at Fort road as you head towards the AYE. But the past 2 day, traffic has been pretty smooth, how do I know? For one, I find myself braking less than normal.

"Change" has been a word that has stuck in my mind the past week. Have been doing alot of soul-searching and reflecting about my current situation, my job my relationships etc. If funny, but met up with a friend yesterday and he was going through exactly the same thing. Guess being married and with kids doesn't make that kind of feeling go away. We all have to deal with that emotions. If life was a roller coaster, then I probably would be a one of the lower ends of the ride, just coming out of a high. There are things that I look forward to and the anticipation of that climax of it (the top) and then guess to get ready for another low or a round-about.

Thats it about a roller coaster ride I guess, the lows, the highs, the anticipations, the fast loops. At the end of the day, its just a ride, just gonna ride it out. Where are you in the bluprint of your roller coaster ride?

We found love, oh
So don't fight it
Life is a rollercoaster
Just gotta ride it
I need you, ooh
So stop hiding
Our love is a mystery
Girl, let's get inside it (Ronan Keating)

Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous

We are back. Timothy had a great time over at Malacca. Road trip was real fun with all that people and all that eating. *although we did not beat the previous group in terms of amount eaten, we nevertheless had loads of fun, especially in the pool!*

We were really treated well to a lovely mansion in which we lived in. Had everything that we needed and even more! Included - pool table, TV in every room, X-box for the boys, jaccuzi, swimming pool and even a pool house! Anyhow, it was a good time of rest and relax, and we really enjoyed ourselves.

The trip back was a pretty quick one, with the roads packed with sillyporeans rushing home. Why silly you might ask? Well, I figured that with the nice holiday that we just had, rushing back to our mundane life would seem silly, but it seems that most Singaporeans can't wait to rush home. How do I know? We'll you should see how some Singaporeans drive. Think they not only cannot wait to get home, they might be rushing to hell....go figure. Thanks to everybody, especially Tingni, who made this trip possible. It would have been different without you!

Lifestyles of the rich and the famous
They're always complainin'
Always complainin'
If money is such a problem
Well they got mansions
Think we should rob them
Good Charlotte

The Things You Didn't Do

It's mostly the things we do that make a difference to other people's lives. But sometimes, it's the things we don't do that truly make a difference the rage we don't fly into when someone does something wrong, the arrogance we don't develop even though we are mostly right, the violence we don't inflict when our tempers flare up, the punishment we don't mete out when someone lets us down.

When someone truly loves us, they will be able to forgive our flaws and mistakes with grace. What's unfortunate though, is that most of us tend to remember people for the things they've done, but forget about the things that they could've done, but chose not to.

A woman once wrote a letter to her husband.

Remember the day I borrowed your brand new car and I dented it?
I thought you'd kill me but you didn't.

And remember the time I dragged you to the beach and you said it would rain and it did? I thought you'd say, "I told you so", but you didn't.

Do you remember the time I flirted with all the guys to make you jealous and you were.I thought you'd leave me, but you didn't.

Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry pie all over your car rug. I thought you'd hit me but you didn't.

And remember the time I forgot to tell you the dance was formal and you showed up in jeans? I thought you'd drop me. But you didn't.

Yes, there were lots of things you didn't do.

But you put up with me and you loved me and you protected me.

There were lots of thing I wanted to make up to you when you returned from
Vietnam. But you didn't.

A letter from an unnamed woman to her husband, who died in the Vietnam War.

It's important to recognize and appreciate our loved ones and friends for
constantly tolerating our idiosyncrasies, our flaws, and our
less-than-desirable traits. If we put themselves in their positions, we can
then begin to imagine the kinds of things they could've done to hurt us in
return, but didn't.

*Disappointed*

Just found out that a friend was seeing another girl and he had just broken off with his previous girlfriend barely a month. Am very disappointed with him. Expected so much more from him...

Its my life

This song just came to my mind. Could only vaguely remember the chorus, "stop bugging me.... ... Its my life" Could not quite recall the artist that did that number. Tried to google it. Ping - Dr Alban. Dunno how many of you can remember this song. But it was a hit at Mambo nites...haha.

Anyhow, you'll be surprised how many songs that are titled "Its my life" or something close. Glad to know that so many people out there share that same feeling as I do sometimes...

Stop bugging me stop bothering me
Stop bugging me stop forcing me
Stop fighting me stop yelling me
It's my life. - Dr. Alban

*wonderful* Wednesday

It was Salsa time again. *What? You just went on Saturday?!* Well this one's a make-up class. Will be taking a road trip to Malacca with Timothy caregroup over the weekend, so will be missing class. Had to make-up otherwise I'll fall behind... ;)

Anyhow, it was really interesting. For some obscure cosmic reason, there are ALWAYS more girls than guys at the classes. *not that I am complaining or anything, I get more practice*. And I've had many accusations thrown at me, saying that the reason why I go for classes was to meet more girls. *giggle* I deny that FLATLY, and there is absolutely no truth in it at all! The reason I'm there is because of my friends, period.

Anyhow, yesterday's turnout was pretty huge. Perhaps around 8 guys and about 20 girls? Unfortunately, did not get even one phone number *mumble*. The thing is that it was kinda funny. We were taught a couple of moves as usual and given the time to practise in pairs. The guys were all lined up one side and the girls the other. Because the girls outnumbered the guys big time, it meant that the girls had to take turns to pair up with the guys. And after a round of practise, the girs would swap.

Here comes the funny part *to me at least, I'm sure the girls might not have appreciated it if they sat down and thought about it*. When its time to change, its like musical chairs, everyone scrambles - and switch guys. Its kinda funny. And if you don't have a partner *I'm talking about the guys* all you had to do was to raise your hand and you'll see them running to you... I've never been so desired before...haha.

Just me in my loser world....:D

Sassy Saturday

Have you seen people who are usually serious suddenly act in a way which you would not have expected? I call this the crowd effect. Someone once said that, "Man is intelligent, its people that are stupid". Sounds weird? Not so. One of the things that would come to my mind immediately is how in school, especially during the orientation programs in JC or Uni. How you would do silly things like go to orchard road and make a total fool out of yourselves in front of total strangers. Sheesh. The mere thought of doing that again sends shudders down my spine!

But thats the thing. Its the thought of being silly that scares us. But thinking back, while it made you look silly, it was fun because there were so many people to act silly with! So you would not have been singled out. But I must confess, acting like a doofus on the streets is kinda liberating, being able to shed the inhibation and act silly.

in·hi·bi·tion
n.

1. The act of inhibiting or the state of being inhibited.
2. Something that restrains, blocks, or suppresses.
3. Psychology. Conscious or unconscious restraint of a behavioral process, a desire, or an impulse.

Dancing lessons reminded me of that kind of emotion. It was liberating because it was a group thing, acting "silly" together. Not to mention that we were able to laugh at ourselves. It nice to feel silly again. When was the last time you felt silly and enjoyed it? The moment -- priceless.

Stem divorce with polygamy

You cannot imagine the horror when I saw the headline of the newspaper. In today's edition of TODAY, a letter written by a Mr Lim Thiam Poh put forth the idea that polygamy will help stem divorce. He argues that its an age old tradition that should be revived. He says, "... allowing polygamy across all cultural groups does not mean it has to be encouraged - just because we allow the use of tobacco doesn't mean we advocate lighting up". He also claims that in monogamus unions, adultery is the LEADING cause of divorce. He also mentions that its men's natural tendency to stray and have more than one sexual companion.

This is my response. I'm not sure if this arose because of the recent remark made by our government that perhaps they need to step into areas of sex and procreation. While this suggestion of polygamy might try to solve some of the problems, I think it creates a whole load of backlash which does not solve the root problem but pretends to solve it at a superficical level but creating a bigger disaster in the process. Here is a challange to the family unit as a nucleus.

The solution of polygamy does not address the issue of unlimted wants. If a man can leave his wife for another, does polygamy ensure the he will not leave the 2 of them for another (we are assuming that polygamy stops at 2)? If a man has lost interest in the woman whom he pledges himself to and decides to divorce her, doesn't it make sense that he can still do that with 2 wives? What safeguard is there to prevent him for doign the same? I must agree that men have a natural tendency to stray. It is our weakness. But at the same time, lets not use that as a crutch. To plagerise a saying, "BE A MAN", face up to that challange and fight it, not bow down and complain its in my nature. Because its not. If polygamy was such an effective tool of preserving family units, then in my opinion, many civilized cultures wuold have natually adopted it as "natural". But in fact, thats not the case.

To me, the root problem is not how a man can be easily tempted by some other gorgerous chick. Its about the attititude towards the sactity of marriage. Somehow along the way, man has figured that its no longer important. The vows of "till death do us part" no longer mean anything. Its sad and that's one of the threats to the family unit nowadays, to be bombarded by silly suggestions tell us how we need to change the way the family unit is comprised.