One, two, three, four, five, six, seven and eight

They say that you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. I challange that saying. I must confess that learning can be rather tough, not because so much of whether we understand what we learn or whether we manage to retain it but more of whether we want to put our heart into learning something. Think sometimes pride can prevent us from doing the correct thing. The Chinese have a saying, literally translated as "to love your face", which means to put emphasis on one's reputation as focus. I say, heck the reputation. We should do what we love to do regardless (ps. there is no such word as irregardless as some people like to say) of what others think. Think the reason why life as a teenager was so much more fun and exciting was because we had a care less attitude then. Now we become worry warts. I want to feel liberated again.

Anyhow, over the weekend, I went for my first Salsa class.

sal·sa
n.

1. A spicy sauce of chopped, usually uncooked vegetables or fruit, especially tomatoes, onions, and chili peppers, used as a condiment.
2. Music. A popular form of Latin-American dance music, characterized by Afro-Caribbean rhythms, Cuban big-band dance melodies, and elements of jazz and rock.

Nope, did not learn how to cook, but learned how to dance. It was pretty fun actually, quite embarassing because I'm hardly graceful. Not to mention that you had to dance with total strangers of the opposite sex. But all in all, it was a good experience learnign to laugh at yourself again. I miss doing that.

Ain't no mountain high enough

Was thinking about mountains and valleys and what a pain it is to have to go over them. After going up, you need to come down and it's pretty much repetitive. Up down, up down.

moun·tain
n.

1. Abbr. Mt. or Mtn. A natural elevation of the earth's surface having considerable mass, generally steep sides, and a height greater than that of a hill.

val·ley
n. pl. val·leys

1. An elongated lowland between ranges of mountains, hills, or other uplands, often having a river or stream running along the bottom.
2. An extensive area of land drained or irrigated by a river system.
3. A depression or hollow resembling or suggesting a valley, as the point at which the two slopes of a roof meet.

There are always going to be mountains, their colossal presence is a fixture that dots our landscape, obstacles that will hinder, that you need to exert more strength to get over. The climb will be tough, exhausting, perhaps leaving you out of breath many times. But the thing about mountains is that there is a maximun height, its finite. And when you reach the top, take a minute to look around you. To take in the beauty of the surroundings. You've become a better person, a stronger person. And having scaled that mountain, you can begin your journey down. But there will always be a higher moutnain to scale.

Are you ready to meet a new challange.

Listen, baby
Ain't no mountain high
Ain't no valley low
Ain't no river wide enough, baby
(The Temptations)

Systems restored

Ah, how it feels to be up and about at peak efficiency. Guess that's something that we take for granted. Its only when the things which you never really thought about are taken from you, do you realise how impotant it actaully is. Health is one of those things. Sleep is another.

You think little of it, perhaps abuse your body a bit by sleeping late etc, you wake up one day feeling really sick, aweful and you tell yourself that you really need to take care of yourself better the next time. You nurse yourself back to health and when you're back to health, you do silly things again....haha vicious cycle huh.

Guess that's what it means to be human - silly.

Maintenance

Well, been feeling sick for the last couple of days. Missed church on Sunday. Brain not functioning well so will be down for maintenance. New confessions will be up when brain has been defragged.

Phasing out

Something weird happened today, as I was driving, I suddenly phased out for a moment. It was for a short moment but it was a really weird feeling. What do I mean by phase out? Tried to do a search on the web but the definitions were different.

What I meant was kinda like I stepped out of the present time and stepped into an alternate time. And I was not aware of what was going on in the present time. Really weird haha. Think I might be too tired...

A Father's love

I had an epiphany (for those who do not know what it means, read about it here). I grew up in a household that tolerated no nonsense and believed very much that children should be seen and not heard. Through the years, I've grew accustomed to that kind of dicipline. I must confess that there are many times, when there are children about, they tend to be noisy and all over the place. A different upbringing I conclude.

While I understand the difference, sometimes it irritates me and I do wonder why parents allow their children to behave the way they do. As parents, I suspect that we all tell ourselves that we want to bring up our children in a certian prescribed way (something that we have formulated at the back of our minds). I find my self in a position when I see my friend's children behaving in a certain way and I tell myself that I would not allow my child to behave like that. However, its easy to see a nice pair of shoes, another to try to fit into them. I myself am not a parent so I recognize that I do not understand.

Bear with me, I'm coming to the epiphany. I suddenly realise that despite what our minds tell us, what experiences that have molded us, will give way under the pressure of love for your own child. Things which we say we want to do, will give way when your child runs up to you and calls you daddy or when he/she smiles at you. (I must qualify that no parent will tolerate the kid's bad behaviour, I am not talking about those situations, but even then, the parent's love is usually enough to cover the wrong that was done and forgiveness after).

At that moment, I realised the greatness of the love that our Heavenly Father has for us. That while He loves us so tremendously, we have been rebellious children, doing so much wrong that hurts him, but the love of the Father is greater then all the wrongs put together. He tolerates because of love and in that perfect love, He sacrifices soemthing most dear, His Son. That we may be redeemed. What love is this? A love that covers a multitude of sins. Thank you Dad.

I look forward to the day when I can also be a loving father.

After a cuppa, feels like 80km/h.

Walking and running

The wise saying that you need to learn how to walk before you learn how to run isn't really all that "wise". Think its a whole load of common sense actually. Have you ever seen a baby try to walk? He crawls, tried to stand up, falls, tries again, fails and the cycle repeats itself till he finally succeeds. Its a process that happens over time and not a period of time. The tenacity...

te·na·cious (t-nshs)
adj.

1. Holding or tending to hold persistently to something, such as a point of view.
2. Holding together firmly; cohesive: a tenacious material.
3. Clinging to another object or surface; adhesive: tenacious lint.
4. Tending to retain; retentive: a tenacious memory.


Falling down is part of a process for all of us. It can refer to situations where you physically fall, or it can happen at an emotional level, spiritual etc. The thing is that we have that ability to pick ourselves up. As a child we were able to do it, its within us, its an inherent ability. But like everything, practise makes perfect. Not perfect at falling down, gracefully, but learning to get up, pat your behind and move on.

But somehow, the older we get, the more fearful we are of falling. And when we do, we become so fixated on that idea that we lose our focus. We sit and wallow in self pity. Move on, pick yourself up. There is still a world out there, and it ain't stopping for anyone.

Feels like 30km/h

Had to drag myself out of bed again. Shambled to the toilet to take a shower, almost fell asleep standing. Slipped the car out of the parking lot, made a left, and then another. A taxi out of nowhere made a right. It was a stop line. I did not have the energy to horn. At Bedok, a bus was wating along the road, it was a double zig-zag line. I horned. Suddenly, my energy spiked... Now it feels like 50km/h...

I want to sleep...

Yesterday on my way home, I saw a SFK registered Toyota Vios along side the road, a lady was in the car, the hazzard lights were flashing. A man was standing behind the car trying to push the Vios. Trying to jump-start no doubt. I smiled to myself...

Green green grass

There is this new so called "reality" televion show. Can't remember the exact name of it, but think its called "Exchanging spouses" or something like that. The aim of the show is to answer the ago old proverbial statement, "The grass is greener on the other side".

pro·ver·bi·al (pr-vûrb-l)
adj.

1. Of the nature of a proverb.
2. Expressed in a proverb.
3. Widely referred to, as if the subject of a proverb; famous.


Its about 2 families, usually one better off than the other family in terms of material comforts. The 2 families exchange wives for a week. There is a cash prize of $20000 and the new wife will decide for the family how to spend it. Its a pretty duh show actually but nights can get a bit boring, so...

so is the grass greener on the other side? Perhaps it is, but it might be bitter at the same time. Or perhaps more difficult to digest. So the secret is to actually be contented. A simple life is way much better.

Upside down

Woke up with a splitting headache. Had to practically drag my butt out of bed. Whole world is spinning around, it feels like its gonna be a roller coaster ride today.

Whatever the case, beats being on a merry-go-round.

Weight on/off my shoulders

The experience of weightlessness is a pretty amazing thing. I figure the only time that any person can feel that is when he or she is floating in their mother's womb. The feeling of relaxation, passing time without a care... priceless. The other alternative is fly up to the moon.

I spent the National day weekend up in Malaysia, went scuba diving with some friends. It was a relaxing time away from the hustle and bustle of the world. Sitting by the beach, watching time go by, without a care. The experience of scuba diving was out of this world. Besides the feeling of weightlessness, the visual treat to the underwater world was simply out of this world.

The thing with scuba diving is that there is this huge load that you need to carry, the compressed air that allows you to stay underwater for an extended amount of time. The trips to the dive site usually takes a couple of minutes. We had to gear up, and clamour up the boat, which would then take us to the site. Its at those moments where we agonize over the burden that we carry. But the moment we enter the crystal clear waters, the focus changes to one of relaxation and of awe. Awe of the new world that we enter.

Ironic actually. Its the tank that allows us to enter a new world and yet at the same time, its the tank that gives us that burden to carry. I figure its because of the tank that makes us look forward to the experience under the sea and it's the burden that we carry that makes it all the more worthwhile. And the moment we step off the boat into the water, the instant feeling of weightlessness. Bliss.

We all carry our burdens. We all have them, the responsibilites that are placed on our shoulders and we fight gravity every single day of our lives. But its these heavy weights that give meaning to the rest and relaxing times that we are able to steal from the world. Our personal time away from the world, our weight, our air tank. Don't drown in your world.

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams, yeah
Love me mouth to mouth now
You know I can't resist
'Cause you're the air
That I breathe (BSB)

Life most ordinary

Yeap, its good to be back after a short break. It was a definite good trip. Managed to catch up on much needed sleep. Spent the last couple of days as a beach bum just sitting around. Its pretty tiring work. Fortunately, I did manage to squeeze in a considerable amount of thinking and pondering despite falling into a deep trance (also known as sleep) many a times.

One of the interesting things that I realised is this. We usually use the word ordianry to describe ourselves (for me at least). But are we really ordinary?

or·di·nar·y
adj.

1. Commonly encountered; usual. See Synonyms at common.
2.
1. Of no exceptional ability, degree, or quality; average.
2. Of inferior quality; second-rate.
3. Having immediate rather than delegated jurisdiction, as a judge.
4. Mathematics. Designating a differential equation containing no more than one independent variable.

So am I really all that ordinary? Thought I might come up with the 10 craziest things I have done:

1) Parachuted from a C130
2) Heli-rappelled from a helicopter
3) Done scuba-diving at advance level
4) travelled to Afghanistan twice, once to the Northern Alliance and once to Kabul
5) Been to Tajikistan
6) Backpacked in Eurpoe for a month
7) Worked on board a ship for 6 weeks
8) Worked in -15 degrees environment
9) Held a photo exhibition in the History Museum
10) Climbed Mt Ophir

Ordinary? Hardly.

Milky milkmaid

One of my favourite things when I was young was the "Milkmaid" brand condense milk. My granny had this habit of having tea at 3pm in the afternoon. We would have tea and eat biscuits while watching re-runs of chinese dramas on channel 8, the mandarin channel.

The condense milk usually came in a can and my granny would open it and leave it in the fridge till she needed it. Once in a while, I remember, when no one was looking, I would slowly creep to the fridge, open it, dip my finger in the can and scoop out a generous portion on condense milk and lick my finger clean. Mmmm... it was heaven.

That was definitely a rush, not to mention the sugar high. Fortuantely I did not turn out to be some drug addict or something, and with all that sneaking around in the kitchen.

My love for condense milk has carried over into my adult life. The aunty in the pantry also stocks up on condense milk, to be used with the "kopi tiam" coffee which she brews every morning. Fortunately for me, I no longer need to sneak around for my daily dose of condense milk. I have it with my cuppa coffee every morning. But everyone in the office knows how much I love condense milk....

Life on the Fast Track

Driving on the highway can be quite an experience even for a seasoned driver like myself.Every day is a brand new journey to the destination where you are headed for. Sometimes, the right most lane is the fast-track, you zip by, on other days, its the slowest and you get stuck behind traffic. The left road, the road less travelled, somehow bocomes the express lane. But whatever the case, you live with the decision on which lane to stay in. Sometimes its a good choice, sometimes not. Sometimes you get stuck in it and all you can do is to just ride it out, it usually get better when you get over the Shears Bridge (I drive on the ECP by the way). On other occasions, a lane, an opportunity, appears and you filter into an adjacent lane and once again cruising, leaving the rest of the world behind. There are big cars, some with especially big butts, that block your front view totally. There are the reckless drivers, the sports cars, the lorries and trucks and no to mention the notorious Taxis. The beautiful cars, the ugly ones, the rare ones (like my Toledo) and of course not forgetting the common ones (like the Vios). The expensive ones and the rich ones. What a myrid of cars!

Interestingly, it does not matter what kind of vehicle you drive, you face the same challange as any car. Does not matter if its a 200bhp car or a conservative 78bhp car, a Subaru WRX STi or a Nissan March You are still stuck in the same traffic. You get horned at, squeezed out of your lane, overtaken, have someone cut into your lane, you jam your brakes, you curse, you move on...

Well, life is pretty much the same ain't it? We all face our set of obstacles, we all have to make decisions, we all have to live with the consequence of our decisions. Sometimes we get a lucky break, sometime we just have to ride it out, sometimes our future gets obstructed, sometimes its as clear as a cloudless sky. Whatever the case, we all have a journey to make... a destination to reach. How do you want to finish that journey. Personally, I wind my windows down, I blast my music, wind in my hair, wearing my shades and I take whatever comes...


I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened (Jon Foreman)